Nostalgia sucks

Yeah. Thank you little brother. He just HAD to go show me some old pictures.. of Chip, of old vacations... Now I'm in a shitty nostalgic mood that's just generally getting me depressed. Woohoo. What fun. Yeah.. Y'know how when you're a little kid, and you wish you would just grow up so you could do stuff and your parents would stop yelling at you? Well, my parents still yell some and hell, I get to do more stuff but most of it is work. Yeah, I screw off some.. but I'm like, constantly stressed. I mean, it's christmas break now and I've been sitting all day working on scholarship crap. Mind, it's not exactly hard scholarship work, actually, it's a drawing thing so it's actually kinda fun.. but still. Little kids don't know how good they've got it. They really don't have much work to do.. they don't have as many responsibilities, but sometimes, I would trade the lack of responsibility for a stress-free week.I remember something I heard once, something like.. "we work and work to make our futures better, save up money, work our lives away.. and when we finally have time to do the things we wanted to do while we were working, we're too old to do any of them." That's me paraphrasing, and I totally forget where I heard that, but... Damn. I really don't want to work my youth away... And I wish I could tell my dad all of this, but I can't seem to get it into words. I'm starting to worry him, methinks... His little talk yesterday just managed to get me depressed. It's like, he's totally dissapointed in me. Or worried, more like.. He says he thinks I don't care, that I screw off to much.. I almost think he thinks I'm doing drugs, which I sure as hell wouldn't do in a million years. I mean.. Maybe I don't care as much as I used to. I really don't know any more... Damn. I need psychiatric help or something... to get stuff of my chest besides a stupid journal. I can't talk to my parents about anything, mom just gets upset and dad gets too worried, and yeah I can talk to my friends... but they've got worse problems then me and I'm a bit worried about, well, seeming superficial. Screw this. Maybe the party tonight will cheer me up some... Hopefully... Time to go back to my drawing now... Ah well...And... Two day's 'till christmas!